Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Hodge

As in Hodge-Podge.
Reader Dear-slash-Viewer Dear, here's a (tiny little) slice of my just-past week.

It was a week in which:
Only Son, Small Actor, and I discovered an (apparently frenzied) ant colony.

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I couldn't resist my impulse to run amok with filming of these ants.  I produced far too many movies, all of them with the very same plot--ants running amok!



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It was a week in which:
In the front yard of a plumber-friend (very handy to have a plumber who is a friend; just as good to have a friend who is a plumber) I had spotted a box full of water plants and a sign that said: Free.  "What's this?" I asked.  "Do you have a pond?"
"Didn't you ever see my pond?" he asked.  "Follow me!
You're going to see something you've never seen before in your life!" he promised, as he escorted me around the house to his back yard.
There he showed me a very pretty little man-made body of water, lush with blooming water lilies!
I gushed!
But (naturally, I'd seen water lilies before), then my plumber-friend said, "Okay, watch this!"  He went and got a handful of fish food.  He reached into the pond and released the food into an inverted aquarium.  It was then I saw something I'd never seen before in my life:  fish swimming above water-level!  It was amazing!
Reader Dear, it was my Thursday Thrill!

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It was a week in which:
(Speaking of water-level) I did not hear the rain at night, but the next morning I saw its evidence!








It was a week in which:
I had my plumber-friend install a new bathroom vanity in an apartment I am "turning over" (landlord jargon for "cleaning, cleaning, cleaning...lots of etc" in order to re-rent)  Because the vanity was not quite as deep as the previous one, I needed a small piece of baseboard (which the painter had told me he would paint and install).  I carefully measured the needed length and it was exactly a foot.  Excellent, I thought, and headed off to Lowe's (hardware store where I had bought the vanity).  Explaining my situation at a front desk--my need for a one-foot piece--I was told, "You will have to go to Home Depot for that!  We don't cut pieces here.  You either buy an eight-foot piece, or you go to Home Depot where you can get a shorter piece."
Reader Dear, excuse me while I say a loud and lengthy AAARRRGGGHHH!
"What?!" I huffed, "You are sending me to your competitor?!  I am a very loyal customer! I've been in here every day for the past three days!"
The guy shook his head.  "Sorry," he said.

















I wandered mournfully to the back of the store, to the lumber department.  I was hot and tired.  There was no way I would drive through late afternoon traffic to the Home Depot store and spend an hour finding an employee who would cut a piece of baseboard for me!

And then!  Up stepped an employee named Rob.  "What can I help you with?" he asked.
I recounted my dilemma and rued the fact that I'd been instructed to patronize a competitor.  "And this store has always been my favorite of the two!" I added.
"All you need is one foot?" he asked.  "I have just the thing!  I have a deal you can't refuse!"
"Follow me!" he said.
"It's free?" I laughed.
"Almost!" he replied.
I trotted after him through several aisles and we arrived at his solution to my problem: an eight-foot piece of baseboard that had damaged spots.  He could sell it to me very cheaply and I could simply cut out a one-foot piece.
"Lovely!" I said, "But I don't have a saw!"
"Here's what I can do," he  said.  He looked around a little furtively.  He went to the massive saw at the back of the store and cut out all the good parts from that eight-foot length of baseboard.
One of the pieces (he carefully measured) was exactly one foot long!
"Here you go!" he placed the wood in my cart.  "That will all be one dollar."

Reader Dear, it was my Wee Wednesday Wonder!*
*("You've got a terrific employee!" I told the staff at the front desk, " Rob, in the lumber department, deserves a raise!"
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It was a week in which:
I spotted another butterfly, doing exercises on my porch.  I was rushing off to do exercises myself, but I couldn't resist filming the little beauty.

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