Tuesday, November 1, 2011

A UNICORN AND A LUMBERJACK came for a visit last night.
It was unexpected! The sun had just gone down, and the yard man and I were quietly eating supper. When I heard a scuffling noise out on the porch, I had just one thought: Great leaping lizards, we've got no candy in the house!
Now, we haven't gotten trick-or-treaters for a number of years, ever since the folks in our immediate neighborhood have turned wrinkled and gray. But I trust, Reader Dear, that you would not have made this silly mistake--no sweets or treats in the house on halloween night! I berated myself--what a witch and an ogre (yeah, I went ahead and blamed the yard man, too) for being so unprepared!
Meanwhile, the yard man enthusiastically opened the door and invited the unicorn in; though she looked like a big pink rabbit, she turned out to be Casey, our small friend who lives beside the yard man's vegetable patch.
Hmm. What to do? What to do?! Perhaps a few quarters would fill the bill? Or....hmm...how about an IOU?

I had no desire to say, "How about some crackers and cheese?" or "Here you go, Sweetie, have some olives!"
The yard man remembered he had bought a small bag of wrapped chocolate mints a few days ago; we'd gobbled most of them up, but he put the last two or three in Casey's bag. I was still wracking my brain.
Suddenly I laughed (Oh! Aha! I was so tickled with myself!)
Do you possibly recall, Dear Reader of Mine, those concerts in the park that perked up our Sunday evenings all summer long?! It just so happens at one those very last concerts (as summer was fading (but long before thoughts of an orangy-black sort had entered my mind) a local company was passing out packages of Twizzlers. They had such a massive amount of which to rid themselves, that by the end of the evening they were passing out whole cases of the stuff! (If I'm not telling the truth, Reader Dear, may the ghosts and goblins gobble me up!)
As a favor to the great leaping lizards of ludicrousness, I brought about a dozen packages home with me!
I stashed them away in a cupboard!

So perhaps, Dear Reader, you've got some tiny inkling of the haul that was made by the unicorn (and a few minutes later the very short lumberjack [who recently moved in next door to the yard man and me])!

(I can't tell you, Reader Dear, what a treat it is to be rid of that candy!)


Shirley said...

Free? The Twizzlers were free? We LIKE Twizzlers. You didn't save any for us. You could've squirreled them in the freezer. You could've DELIVERED them.

KTdid said...

Shirley, we've still got one package left. Ergo,one pack of Twizzlers coming up! (er, down)