Friday, November 18, 2011


A NEW LAW OF NATURE may have been discovered, Reader Dear! It's a somewhat odd phenomenon; I've been studying it over the course of many years. Finally I'm prepared to present my hypothesis. And here it is: Knowledge that one will be gone from one's house in excess of twenty-four hours produces a compulsive urge to sort and organize clutter and clean out one's closets.

It appears it's immutable, this law; there's a possibility it applies only to myself. My yard man and I made plans last week to go and visit friends this coming weekend. Tomorrow and Sunday. Like clockwork, the impulse hit me hard this morning: I've got to clean up and clean out!

Thus, from beginning (which, alas, did not occur at sun-up) to end (which, alas, did not occur at sundown), today I was a whirling, chaos-busting dynamo! I did laundry, vacuumed floors, cleaned out drawers, reorganized food in the freezer, collected thirty-seven empty egg cartons from the basement area where The Yard Man stashes them and won't be needing them now that his egg-laying hens have grown old and tired. I sorted through books, and papers, and baby items outgrown by both the diminutive actors who will be acting for me in my Thanksgiving movies next week. In fact, I'm still at it, Reader Dear--trying to systematize my disordered thoughts and give you an organized list of all that I did today while under the influence of this quirky law of nature. So here's the thing-- I'd like to keep going, but I've got to stop. I said to The Yard Man, "Let's set out for West Virginia about sunrise tomorrow."

The sun comes up early! And you know without a doubt, Reader Dear, I can't change the laws of nature!

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