I've been trotting

off to the out-patient cardio-fitness center two times a week for the past few weeks, Reader Dear, and I've been meaning to give you the rundown. It's the push-and-pull of life, the cycling 'round of mundane chores, that has kept me from working out a space in time to press you with the details.

But, heads up, Dear Reader, here they come now:
This fitness center is located on the third floor of the local hospital's massive out-patient complex.  Now, one might suppose that if one were serious about getting physical exercise, one would exercise some discipline and use the stairs to get to the top of the building.  Let me just say, however, the elevators are plentiful.  It is ever so delightful to exercise the use of an "up" button to speedily get to a room where machines are awaiting one's sweaty physical exertion!
Before any use of the machines, however, I was soon to learn there is a whole protocol of prep work!  I'm going to give you all the steps, Reader Dear:
1. Check in.  Register at the automated kiosk.
2.  Go to the desk where the heart monitors are located and report your presence.  You will be given a heart monitor.
3.  Go to the locker room-slash-restroom, where you will choose a locker and can fill it with whatsoever you please (a fancy party dress, or fancy shoes, even a pet monkey if you so choose.*)  Keep the key with you on your wrist as you continue on to the  lavatory area.

4.  Following the in-person instructions that you were given on your very first session, hang the monitor around your neck in one of the provided aprons.  Attach the wires to your chest in three locations, with three sticky tabs.  (The sign will refresh your memory if needed).
5.  Step on the scales in locker room-slash-restroom and note your weight.
6.  Report back to heart monitor counter and fill out a form reporting your weight and the answers to several questions ("Are you taking your medications as prescribed?").

7. Do the ten warm-up exercises as listed and pictured on the large-print sign.

9. Apply hand sanitizer to your hands from dispenser on wall.
10. Wait for someone to take your blood pressure and escort you to a machine.

Whew, that was a lot of steps, Reader Dear!  A work-out!

11.  Begin your work-out.
.................................
*I did not make inquiries about this.
I don't advise it.