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SING A SONG OF SIXPENCE, A POCKET FULL OF RYE, four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie. Except, whoops, it wasn't really blackbirds...although they did (prior to the baking) sport black feathers. And there were only two, not twenty-four of them. Come to think of it, it wasn't exactly a pie, either---the entree of the evening was Rooster over Waffles.


The queen, for far too long, had been stamping her foot and declaring, "Off with their heads!!"
For far too long, the king had been paying no mind. And then one day-- hmm, yes, today!-- two roosters from the king's chicken yard cock-a-doodled their last farewell and succumbed to the axe. The king was playing the role of executioner, and later he followed that up by performing as chef. The queen was quite pleased by the banquet the king had arranged, and by the tasty dish set before the banqueters.

When the guests--all the king's horses and all the king's men, many of the king's children, his grandson, his mother and an aunt--had partaken of the meal and taken their leave, the queen inquired of the king:


"Now is that the end of the roosters?"
"No," said the king, "there are three more in the chicken yard."
"Three more?!" gasped the queen, incredulous.

"Uh, no," replied the king. "There are four....
I mean.... five. Yes, five more roosters."





Upon hearing this, the queen fainted and fell to the floor. A short while later, along came a rooster and snipped off her nose!

(Preceding tale not-so-loosely based upon actual events, conversations and characters.
Apologies to the brothers Grimm, or Aesop, or whoever the heck wrote that nursery rhyme.)


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