Friday, March 7, 2014

READER DEAR, I'VE JUST DEVELOPED

 a totally effortless way to drop a few unwanted pounds!  It's called the Effingflu Weight Loss Plan and I am excited to tell you about it (relatively speaking).  Here's the thing--while other weight-shedding methods want to sell you powdered mixes and shakes and pills to pop, this plan involves nothing to ingest and no exercise routines.  It is really and truly, exactly as I stated--effortless!  One simply lies back and lets the fat fall away!  Indeed!

Right now I am going to share with you the basic concept behind the Effingflu Weight Loss Plan.  It  is simply hunger-less-ness.
(Got that, Reader Dear?  It may not be a word, but it is a concept) One doesn't get hungry while on this plan!  Lacking a sense of desire for food, one can exist on very little, perhaps a few oranges and some chicken broth.  Maybe a shot or two of whiskey.  Practically nothing! The pounds disappear quickly!  And in very little time!

I'm sure you are clamoring to find out more about this Effingflu Weight Loss Plan, are you not?  Appetite suppressants are plentiful, and we all know they are made up of chemicals that one puts into one's body.  But the secret behind this plan is an all-natural, totally-chemical-and-preservative-free way of squelching hunger.  Subsequently, of course, excess pounds simply melt away!*

Now, here, Dear Reader, is where things get really exciting for you!  I am making a one-time offer to give away this Effingflu Weight Loss Plan for ABSOLUTELY FREE!  Yes, that's what I said: You do not have to pay a dime!   Do not lose this chance to effortlessly lose weight!**

Unfortunately, shipping is not available.  This plan must be picked up in person.  This plan is strictly a one-time offer, and MAY END SHORTLY!***  Callers are on the line and on the other end of the computer, waiting to make arrangements with you for picking up your very own Effingflu Weight Loss Plan.  ACT QUICKLY!






......
*These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA.  Side effects may include, but are not limited to:  shivers, shakes, chills, fever, coughing, sneezing, extreme lethargy, dry skin, dry eyes, chapped lips, dismal thoughts of growing old, hiccups.

**It is free, for heaven's sake; what do you have to lose?! (No pun intended)

***Ah, Reader Dear,  it's my sincere wish!


6 comments:

jut said...

no thanks

KTdid said...

Jut, it's okay. I completely understand. You may be one of the 2-1/2 percent who suffers from dismal thoughts of growing old. Too much to risk!

Time has about run out, at any rate!
Hallelujah!
Q.

EPM said...

I need to loose a few but I can't afford the time to do it your way so I'll decline. Any program I go on has to run concurrently with my work. Hopefully the roadsides get clear enough for bike commuting soon. That's my preferred way to get rid of the winter 10.

PS: You don't need to bring it along Monday either. We've gotten along without any extra details this long, why mess up something good. Besides, nobody there other than me really needs a weight loss program. 8^))

KTdid said...

I am happy to inform you, Dear EPM,that you are altogether too late to order this product, as I am no longer freely sharing!

This makes for a win-win situation, as it was very burdensome to keep the Effingflu Weight Loss Plan on hand, and biking is a far better long-term plan without the nasty side effects!

(On Monday night, I will be hunger-less-ness-free)
Q.

David Nafziger said...

I am back to where I was at about 30. Four times I have drilled smaller holes in my belt, not counting the spare holes that were there when I started. This means about 30 lbs. And no furious exercise. I prefer heavy whipping cream to milk, eat 2 large eggs a day, and eat bacon and sausage, and meat, butter, and cheese by the pound. I eat when I'm hungry until I am not-- just don't pig out. What I don't do is carbohydrates- 15 per day is max. Especially sugars. Forget calories, they are irrelevant. But no fruit, starch, sugar. It does work!

KTdid said...

Exciting news, Mr. Dave N. as I am just stepping into the nearly-carb-free boat myself! Being addicted to sugar, and just finished with the E.W.L.P., I judged it a good time to start this. Thanks for your report! Q.