Right now I am going to share with you the basic concept behind the Effingflu Weight Loss Plan. It is simply hunger-less-ness.
(Got that, Reader Dear? It may not be a word, but it is a concept) One doesn't get hungry while on this plan! Lacking a sense of desire for food, one can exist on very little, perhaps a few oranges and some chicken broth. Maybe a shot or two of whiskey. Practically nothing! The pounds disappear quickly! And in very little time!
I'm sure you are clamoring to find out more about this Effingflu Weight Loss Plan, are you not? Appetite suppressants are plentiful, and we all know they are made up of chemicals that one puts into one's body. But the secret behind this plan is an all-natural, totally-chemical-and-preservative-free way of squelching hunger. Subsequently, of course, excess pounds simply melt away!*
Now, here, Dear Reader, is where things get really exciting for you! I am making a one-time offer to give away this Effingflu Weight Loss Plan for ABSOLUTELY FREE! Yes, that's what I said: You do not have to pay a dime! Do not lose this chance to effortlessly lose weight!**
Unfortunately, shipping is not available. This plan must be picked up in person. This plan is strictly a one-time offer, and MAY END SHORTLY!*** Callers are on the line and on the other end of the computer, waiting to make arrangements with you for picking up your very own Effingflu Weight Loss Plan. ACT QUICKLY!
*These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. Side effects may include, but are not limited to: shivers, shakes, chills, fever, coughing, sneezing, extreme lethargy, dry skin, dry eyes, chapped lips, dismal thoughts of growing old, hiccups.
**It is free, for heaven's sake; what do you have to lose?! (No pun intended)
***Ah, Reader Dear, it's my sincere wish!