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This posting is going to have a title--I'm just debating what it shall be. I'm thinking of using this:
HOW IT CAME ABOUT THAT I TOOK A FIFTEEN-MINUTE SHOWER AT FIVE-FIFTEEN ON A SATURDAY MORNING, SHAMPOOED MY HAIR THREE TIMES, THEN GARGLED SOY MILK, though it seems a bit lengthy. LAVENDER LOOPINESS is another possibility. There's also: AN IMPROPER FEELING.

Here's what I've decided: I'll tell you the tale, Dear Reader, and let you decide which title is most fitting (or come up with a better one, and I have a small prize for you!).

Okay, then--This morning I woke while it was still very early......oh, but wait! Perhaps it would be more fun if you were to guess what happened to me. I know I love to play guessing games. When the man who's my long-time dinner companion sits down to the table and says, "You wouldn't believe who I ran into this afternoon!" or "You'll never guess what happened at the office today!" my heart speeds up a notch and I say, "Wait!! Wait!! Don't tell me!!" I say it like that--really quickly and emphatically--because I really do love to guess. And everyone knows "I'll bet you can't guess" is just an expression. He's not actually offering me a challenge. Of course, this man's been eating with me for ever so long, and he knows by now I might still be hounding him with questions as we clear the table. (Though, honestly, it doesn't usually take me that long.) Most of the time he humors me.

On the other hand, he does not like to guess. He wants the facts! Yes, sir, just lay them out! None of this silly business of lengthy interrogation--Was it a man or a woman? Did it make you laugh? Was everyone amused, or only you? Does she have red hair? So this morning, when this same man heard me coughing and spitting and blowing my nose in the bathroom, and running the shower, and he came to ask, "Are you sick?!" I immediately answered no, and I poured out my story.

So what'll it be? Would you care to guess, Dear Reader,* or would you rather I just tell the tale?
If no one is curious at all, I'll simply keep my mouth shut. Or, uh...well....
*In the event there is more than one of you, I'll play it by ear.
Though it might be more appropriate to play it by eye.



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