Saturday, October 16, 2010

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I JUST WANT TO BE OK, BE OK, BE OK...
I just want to be okay today.

I was zipping along this afternoon, feeling fine!
The person I've known the longest of my whole
entire life is here to visit me. We are off to look for a store selling coconut water.
"It's the best stuff in the world for hydration!" my twin brother tells me. "In fact, it's so pure, it can be injected straight into your veins."
This brother of mine is a storehouse of information!
(And, of course, he should know about coconuts; he's got eleven
acres of them growing in Zanzibar!)

Whaddya know, it takes a bit of looking, but we find what
we're after. We have a refreshing drink.
"It's not quite like pulling a young coconut from the tree, lopping off the top with a machete, and drinking it down," he says. "But it's good!"



On the way home, we stop to see my yard man where he's giving his horse-drawn
wagon rides. (You know, Dear Reader, he's a horse-driven man!)



Ah, it's a beautiful October day!
I'm feeling quite okay!






And THEN...
just like that...into my world
came a big long roofing screw!
Actually, it came right into the left rear tire of my car.








Whap, whap, whap
. The tire was protesting as I got near home. It was still exhaling through its lethal puncture wound when I pulled into the driveway and we looked to see what was wrong.





My twin set right to work. "I'll just put your spare on for you, no problem!" he said. He opened the trunk and helped me unload the junk that I keep stored there--a little stepladder and a styrofoam icebox, a couple of ratty blankets and a lot of odds and ends. (It wasn't very much fun, but I was still okay). We extracted the spare tire and all of the tools for changing...Well, not quite ALL of the tools.
"Huh, you've got anti-theft lugs on here! I'll need a special wrench to get them off. Have you got it?"

No. No, I didn't. I had no idea what the thing was supposed to look like, but believe me, I looked for it. I looked in every corner of the trunk. I looked in every crevice and compartment.
Then I called AAA.
"Unfortunately, we can't help you with that!" they informed me. "We have nothing with which to unlock the lug. All we can do is tow your car to a dealership. They usually have a tool to deal with it."
I hung up in a quandary.
But my twin said, "Don't worry! We'll just take my truck to the dealership and get the tool."

So I called the dealership. "Hmm," said the guy who took my call. "Have you looked in the glove compartment? What about in the trunk with the rest of the tools? Maybe it's in the storage box between the seats." He then commenced to chatting about these cars with the anti-theft lugs. And why they were put on some models. And why it's a good idea if you've got expensive wheels. And how they've got universal sets to deal with the problem on used cars that come in to their shop. But, of course, they have to have the car!
I interrupted him. "Can't I come get the tool?!" I asked.
"Oh, no. I can't let you have it," he said.
"You can't?!" I said. "Can I buy one? How much do they cost?"
"They're eight hundred dollars!" he said.
I groaned.
"Can I buy one," I asked, "and then bring it back?"
"Oh, no, you can't return them!" he said.

"Well," I sighed. "I guess all I can do is have Triple AAA tow this car to your dealership. What time do you close?"
"We close at 4:00," he said.
I looked at the time.
It was 3:09.

I was no longer feeling okay.
It was still a lovely afternoon,
with a beautiful blue sky.

Here's where I spent forty minutes of it--
in a stuffy little waiting room

(3:58 p.m. to 4:39 p.m.):












with one window into a nearly-deserted garage, where my car had its Super Fix-a-Flat-filled tire removed.
(This Fix-a-Flat can just happened to be one of the odds and ends in my trunk. "Okay," said my twin, "I think this might work. I'll fill the tire, and you jump in the car and drive to the dealership.")






















The spare tire was installed, and every single one of those fancy theft-proof lugs was removed and replaced with the (sane) standard kind. I was halfway finished with the crossword puzzle in the daily paper I found in the waiting room (I'd just entered the word d-i-s-g-u-s-t) when the service manager brought me a message: "One of the bulbs for your turn signal lights is burnt out. Would you like for us to replace it? And...also, were you aware," he asked, "that your car's been out of inspection since July?"


I have a new song:

I just want my car to be okay, be okay.
I just want my car to be okay today!


...


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2 comments:

jut said...

anti-theft lugs, man, that is messed up. just when you think you've heard of every dealership scam possible...just thinking about it makes me mad. Now I have one more question for the guy at the used car lot: "hey this doesn't come with anti-theft lugs on it, does it???"

KTdid said...

Yes,indeed, be sure to ask...it's a simple matter to have them removed, but you want to do it BEFORE you drive the car away!