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IT'S LIKE SOMEONE SHOUTED "Swine flu!" in a crowded theater...my tenants at Fairview are scrambling for the exits. With only slight exaggeration I can say that I seem to be getting a phone call every other hour or so from a tenant giving notice (giving notice being landlord jargon for calling off the contract--movin' on, telling me they are quitting the place and when can they expect their security deposit returned to them?)

"There goes your job!" is closer to what a few of my tenants heard shouted at them. ( Well, perhaps it wasn't shouted, but I'll bet it clanged pretty loudly in their heads.) Yesterday I picked up my little white business phone and heard this actual word-for-word message: "I just wanted to call and let you know that I have been laid off..uhm...as of today. Effective, I believe, May 16. So I don't know at this present moment what I'm going to do. I know that my lease with you is not up until October, however......I don't have a job (nervous laugh). So I thought you should know as soon as possible. This happened this morning."

Then there's Sandra, who lost her long-held job with a non-profit organization a few months ago. She'd been hanging on with a part-time evening job at a bookstore. "It's tough," she told me, when she reluctantly called to say her funds were running out and she would have to leave. "When you're over fifty no one wants to hire you, even with a good resume. I'm beating the bushes now for almost anything."

There's another door through which some of my more fortunate tenants are headed, however. It's the one where they exit to their own little idyllic home. They've gladdened the hearts of the realtors and the bankers and the furniture store salesmen and bought a house! Oh, yes, I may not be happy about it, but they've delighted lots of people...the appliance salesmen, the floor covering salesmen, the lawn mower salesmen, the snowblower salesmen, the replacement window salesmen, the fuel oil companies, the roofers, the painters, the plumbers, the electricians, the carpet cleaning companies, the tax collectors, the insurance salesmen, the landscape nurseries, the furnace repairmen, the appliance repairmen, the lawn mower repairmen ... ahhh ...how much greener the grass will be at their new home! (After their trip to the gardening store, of course.)

Oops, my little white phone is ringing. This time it's sure to be a fortyish professional, inquiring about vacancies, who's been at her high-paying job in the medical service industry for five or ten years and is single, a bit of a neat freak, doesn't have any pets and wouldn't think of smoking. She's soft-spoken and...lo and behold, she's looking to rent in the very area of Fairview Apartments! Yes, sure to be. (Hmm...so why is it I don't want to pick up the phone?)

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