Thursday, January 31, 2019

Life is a Pretzel

It's such a cliche, of course; but, the twists and turns, those are the pretzel parts of life.  Okay, okay, maybe the salt can be metaphorical, too, Dear Reader.  I know that salt can burn if it happens to be in an open wound.

At any rate, here's my latest big twist:  Once again, I awoke in a hospital. 
This time there was not the slightest clue in advance.

Here are the details:  It was the coldest day of the year (I'm talking locally, and the coldest day thus far in the year [just to make things perfectly clear.])

I had been whisked (unconscious) to the hospital in an ambulance in the middle of the night.  I awoke when it was daylight.  I was trundled around the hospital for tests, was visited by my Itty-Bitty Actor, and by my minister.  I received some flowers, and I got a diagnosis.

































All in all, it was sort of a generic and straightforward hospital visit.

However! The overall outcome of the diagnosis put the very large twist in this metaphorical pretzel about which I'm regaling you, Reader Dear.
 

"You had a seizure," said the neurologist who came to visit me and explain things to the Yard Man and myself.  One possible explanation was that it looked (from the testing) that I may have suffered a small stroke two years ago during my grand out-of-this-world journey.  Also, I was dehydrated (tsk, tsk, I knew I hadn't been drinking enough).  The doctor gave me a prescription for the medication I was now to add to my daily drug cocktail.

I have to admit, Reader Dear, that I was expecting a diagnosis similar to this.  Though I've never before in my life suffered a seizure, The Yard Man had searched the internet for an explanation of the strange and unusual event which had prompted him to call for an ambulance.

"You were screaming bloody murder," The Yard Man had told me, "gasping to breathe. I thought every breath would be your last!"  
Then he had given me lots of details he had read on-line:  One out of every 26 Americans has at least one seizure in his or her lifetime.  Many never experience more than one.  The loud scream is from all of the muscles in the lungs seizing up and forcing air out at once.  The event itself is often more traumatic for the person witnessing it than for the one who is having the seizure. And, there are many, (many) different kinds and degrees of seizure (brain glitch) activity.
"It was horrendous!" said The Yard Man.  "Absolutely awful!"

Hearing about the seizure, and The Yard Man's repeated assertions of its ghastliness were wretched enough, you can believe me, Dear Reader.  But then the doctor (rather off-handedly [it seemed to me]) announced:   
"I'm going to have to invalidate your driver's license for a period of six months."

Uh.  

WHAT?!

(Excuse me, Reader Dear, while I have an absolute fit!*)
*Pun intended.

...to be continued...

1 comment:

SisterSuzieSittingOnAPillow said...

What!!?? This is crazy!! Mom always says that getting old is not for sissy's. Yeah, I guess she is right. It will be very hard not to drive. Mom still complains about it.

At least you have a very capable chauffeur.

Hugs, LTF