Viewer Dear, this Friday I had to make additions to my carefully-lettered sign at Starbucks.
Because, when I visited the store today, not a single one of those red, insulated cups had sold, despite my sign! "Next week," I vowed, "I'm going to slash the price!"
Friday, January 29, 2016
Monday, January 25, 2016
Here Where I Live
Reader Dear, we had howling winds and drifting snow over the past weekend. In a surprise historical first, The Yard Man and I happened to have this blizzard phenomenon right inside our living room!
It wasn't until after breakfast on Saturday morning that we discovered the snow had broken and entered (well, to be truthful, The Yard Man admitted he'd left the door unlatched on Friday night when he'd brought wood inside to build a fire. The wind-driven snow forced its way through the [admittedly flimsy] storm door and cracked open our beautiful-but-arduous-to-bolt front door!)
As crazy as it was, I was slightly charmed by the unlikeliness of it.
And I jumped at the chance to build a snowman in my cozy kitchen. "No! No!" I instructed The Yard Man, when he seemed intent on washing four bucketfuls of snow down the drain as quickly as possible.
It seemed the stars were aligned (and I know the moon was full) when I thought of the almost-empty bag of carrots in my fridge. Dear Reader, I had been intent on putting every last one of those carrots in the soup I made last night...right up until I got tired of peeling them, and left a few in the crisper. Wow. What delight to go after that bag of facial features and attach them to my counter-top snowman!
I put him outside.)
Saturday, January 23, 2016
Friday, January 22, 2016
About That Job
at Starbucks, Reader Dear, I hadn't thought to apply for it until I walked into the shop with my friends yesterday.
"Uh, you've got a sign with a misspelled word," I told an employee behind the counter. "You know I come in here every Friday, and it's starting to drive me a little batty!"
Then I added, "I'll be happy to fix it for you if you've got a piece of chalk."
She consulted with another employee, who said, "It's not chalk. We use markers," and handed me a white one.
Oh, Viewer Dear, aren't you relieved that I got that job?!
Now to simply wipe out "Clerance" and correct it.
Except...hmm...the writing refused to be erased!
Since the coffee-servers behind the counter were busy, and I had received no Starbucks training, I opted to follow my own best instincts. ("Takes initiative" I envisioned on my performance report)
I investigated the back of the board and found it to be blank. Voila! I set about lettering a completely new sign.
(My friends who were with me at Starbucks [the poor dears] had no good advice! They were drinking their cups of coffee and shaking their heads.)
When I needed a red marker, I went looking, reached across the counter and helped myself.
("Works well independently")
.
I finished lettering the sign.
With much restraint, I limited the curlicues and hearts that I added.
And, then, I took a coffee break (to drink my coffee, of course) and...
I quit!
I simply returned all my markers and walked off the job!*
..........................
*Somewhat of a negative for the performance report, to be sure, Reader Dear.
But...well, my friends were leaving the store!
"Uh, you've got a sign with a misspelled word," I told an employee behind the counter. "You know I come in here every Friday, and it's starting to drive me a little batty!"
Then I added, "I'll be happy to fix it for you if you've got a piece of chalk."
She consulted with another employee, who said, "It's not chalk. We use markers," and handed me a white one.
Oh, Viewer Dear, aren't you relieved that I got that job?!
Now to simply wipe out "Clerance" and correct it.
Except...hmm...the writing refused to be erased!
Since the coffee-servers behind the counter were busy, and I had received no Starbucks training, I opted to follow my own best instincts. ("Takes initiative" I envisioned on my performance report)
I investigated the back of the board and found it to be blank. Voila! I set about lettering a completely new sign.
(My friends who were with me at Starbucks [the poor dears] had no good advice! They were drinking their cups of coffee and shaking their heads.)
When I needed a red marker, I went looking, reached across the counter and helped myself.
("Works well independently")
.
With much restraint, I limited the curlicues and hearts that I added.
And, then, I took a coffee break (to drink my coffee, of course) and...
I quit!
I simply returned all my markers and walked off the job!*
..........................
*Somewhat of a negative for the performance report, to be sure, Reader Dear.
But...well, my friends were leaving the store!
Thursday, January 21, 2016
The Job at Starbucks Coffee
Today I started it, Dear Reader,
a (very) part-time job!
...................................
And, then, er... I suppose I must also divulge the fact to you...
today I quit!*
*I can't talk about it right now, Dear Reader Dear.
I'll spell out all the little details for you tomorrow!
a (very) part-time job!
...................................
And, then, er... I suppose I must also divulge the fact to you...
today I quit!*
*I can't talk about it right now, Dear Reader Dear.
I'll spell out all the little details for you tomorrow!
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
I Fear a Fast-flying Fixation
on feathered friends, Viewer Dear!
Today a whole flock was cheering me on as I sped around the looping trail at the park (I reckon they didn't know how lax I've been! My previous exercise at the park was months ago!)
...............................
Today a whole flock was cheering me on as I sped around the looping trail at the park (I reckon they didn't know how lax I've been! My previous exercise at the park was months ago!)
...............................
Saturday, January 9, 2016
The Grand Finale
Viewer Dear, but Christmas
has to take its leave at some point.
I insist.
....................................
Friday, January 8, 2016
No Sooner do I Decry The
actions of that hawk-like creature, than I meet a bird of (an entirely) different feather! Reader Dear, I met Sam today at the local mall. He charmed me into a lengthy conversation!
"You're going to be famous!" I exclaimed, when numerous other passers-by had stopped to take his picture or watch him conversing with me and my friends.
"I hope so!" he said, and he lifted his "crown."
"That's how he shows his emotions," one of his caretakers told me, "by lifting those feathers on top of his head."
Alas, Reader Dear, I'm ruing the fact already, I neglected to ask him how often he enjoys a nice chicken dinner!*
*I confess, I envision Sam raising his "crown" and voicing his dismay, "Pardon me, but I find it foul to eat another fowl!"
Thursday, January 7, 2016
I Have a Few Questions
Viewer Dear.
How is it possible we are already nearing the end of the first week of the New Year?!
How long do we call the year "new"?
I glanced out the window yesterday morning and saw this large hawk-like bird (if I were just a tad more confident, I'd name it a hawk) fly in and perch on the bird bath in the yard. It appears to be consuming another bird.
Dear Viewer, a cannibal?
How is it possible we are already nearing the end of the first week of the New Year?!
How long do we call the year "new"?
I glanced out the window yesterday morning and saw this large hawk-like bird (if I were just a tad more confident, I'd name it a hawk) fly in and perch on the bird bath in the yard. It appears to be consuming another bird.
Dear Viewer, a cannibal?
Er, it seems a little foul for a fowl to eat another fowl.
Friday, January 1, 2016
The Big Moving-On
We meet with the self-same friends!
We stand around the self-same spread of food (Chili! Hummus! Shrimp! Veggies and dip! Fruit! Cheesecake! Chocolates!
We play the same domino tiles!
But here's the thing, Reader Dear...
A NEW YEAR IS IMMINENT!
WE LAUGH NEW LAUGHTER!
Lots of it!
Loudly!
(Oh, delicious, heart-warming laughter!
May your New Year be filled with it, Dear Reader Dear!)
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