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IF YOU ATE THE ...(Ooops, I've been scarfing down so many scrapings of leftover holiday food, Dear Reader--I meant to say READ!) If you read the last bits of yesterday's holiday hodgepodge, I hope that you gave at least one small snort. Or a good head-shaking might suffice. If nothing else, please tell me your brain cells rejoiced that it was not you, Dear Reader, with that little white phone to your ear!

My tenant, Miss Speak-so-Softly, was calling to tell me she had no water--again. "And furthermore," she said, "I've been losing sleep from the noise of the couple next door. Even my boss has noticed a change in my job performance." She paused. "And then there's the matter of the smoker downstairs..."

Before I knew it, she had pulled a Houdini--slipped right out of that lease of hers. But it's okay, I said to myself. I would rather not rent to folks who would rather not be there. (And the phone call did end on a very high note. "Oh, my goodness!" she said. "Oh, my goodness, just as we're speaking I've got water again!")

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