...


"HEY, I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY A STRANGE noise! There's an animal or something in my apartment!" My tenant sounds a bit frantic. "There's something scratching and making a lot of noise," she goes on, "and it's right here inside! It's in a pipe or something. Well, I don't know where it is! "

My thoughts, in order of arrival:
1. Oh, brother, there goes my morning.
2. Good grief, who on earth do I call?
3. I've gotta talk to my yard man!
4. Please, please, please--let him be available to help me right now!
5. I wish I'd have a banana to eat.

"I'll be over in about twenty minutes," I say. I hang up and call my yard man. I'm sure I sound a bit frantic.


When I ring Casey's doorbell, twenty minutes later, no one answers. I hesitate...and then open the door just a smidgen. My yard man is in there--I hear him. Bless his heart, he got here ahead of me! He and Casey are in the bedroom together; as I make my way back the hall, she's exclaiming with vigor (context is everything, Dear Reader), "I think it must be a squirrel in the dryer hose! I was scared to open the bathroom door!" She turns toward me as I enter the bedroom. " I got a hammer--I really didn't want to kill it, 'cause I really love animals, but......" She cringes.


Casey and I stand back as the Yard Man cautiously opens the bathroom door and peers into the laundry closet. Yes, it's clear--whatever it is, it's indeed freaking out in the dryer hose.

My thoughts, in order of arrival:
1. Thank goodness the critter is trapped, and not running loose in the bathroom!
2. Oh, brother, now what?
3. Thank goodness I don't have to deal with this on my own!
4. Please, please, please--let my yard man know what to do.
5. I wish I'd have a banana to eat. (Just kidding. I wasn't thinking about breakfast right then.)

"I'll have to disconnect the dryer hose," says my yard man. "Do you have something I can stand on? I don't have a ladder with me." Casey gives him a chair, and he shuts the bathroom door. We stand huddled together, Casey and I, by the three iguana cages in the bedroom. We listen to the slight ruckus.


Moments later, he opens the door.

"It's a starling!" he announces, clutching the bird in his hand. There's a proud grin on his face.



"Oh, I have to take a picture!" says Casey.
"Oh!" I say, "Me, too!"





After that, I also take photos of Casey's beloved reptiles. (Poor thing, her landlord won't let her keep a cat, and she really and truly loves animals.)








My yard man is already on his way home when I realize I need more help. "Come back!" I implore via cell phone, and stand guard by the outside dryer vent exit while he gathers up his ladder and returns.



My thoughts, in order of arrival:
1. There's a reason "birdbrain" is insulting.
2. Thank goodness the vent cover's here on the ground.
3. Please, please--let it stay attached, in spite of the half-broken hinge.
4. Three cheers for my hard-working yard man!
5. I wish I'd have a banana to eat.



Then I headed off to the grocery store.
I bought some bananas.



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