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I'VE WRITTEN THE LYRICS to a country music song, Reader Dear. It was so easy!
(You, my friend, get to make up the tune yourself!)

Chorus:
I can't go far, no, I can't go far
Wouldn't you know the battery's done died in my car

It was weeks ago, my laptop broke
Oh, let me tell you, that was no joke
Dear me, it was such an extreme vexation
Even now I'm dealing with the complication

(Repeat Chorus)

Next to go, the old vaccuum machine
Now how on earth will I get my floors clean
I'm seeing dirty floors and cloudy skies
Please wipe these tears out of my eyes

(Repeat Chorus)

After that a tenant rang me with a call
To say he'd spotted mold on his bathroom wall
Furthermore, there's other damage, says he
As a direct result of Hurricane Lee

(Repeat Chorus)

The nerve of those fates to be so bold
Today I awoke with a wretched cold

(DO NOT repeat chorus! It is time, Reader Dear, for
this song to come to an end!)

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