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FIRST THING THIS MORNING, I had to look in the paper, see if I won. You may have been totally unaware of this, Dear Reader, but I just ran for office in the primaries. Don't feel bad. Few knew about it (and even fewer voted for me). It was my own fault, really; I didn't launch a very big campaign. Truth be told, I didn't decide to jump into the race until the very last minute, and then--tsk, tsk--I thought it would be perfectly okay to act as my own campaign manager.

I'll tell you the whole story of my decision to run, and give you some details on the campaign. That way, should you yourself ever give some thought to running for public office, you can learn from my mistakes. (Oh, yes, mistakes were made, that's for certain.)

Okay, so here's how it happened (beginning near the end). Yesterday afternoon I called my Yard Man to ask if he planned to vote before dinner, or if he wanted to run down to the polling station with me, after dinner, to cast his ballot.

"After dinner will be fine," he said. "I'll go with you." So that's what we did. We drove through the wet, cool evening to the old wooden building; it's so close we would readily have walked, were it not for impending rain.

Inside, we're the only voters. Three women are seated at a table, but they're only there to check credentials, and instruct in the use of the ballot box. My Yard Man and I go to two of the five polling booths that are scattered around the nearly empty room. I look at the ballot. Hmm...then I study the ballot. And, then...that's when I make my decision to run--to enter the race! I'm a little tardy, but I launch my campaign.

My Yard Man is next to me, filling out his ballot. "Hey, I'll vote for you as Assembly person," I say to him in a lowered voice, "if you'll vote for me. You know... just write me in."
"Pfff...NO!" is his ready response.
"Oh, come on," I wheedle, "We can both vote for me, if you don't care to run."
But he shakes his head, as though he's just heard a harebrained scheme.
"Well, I'm voting for myself!" It's my final push.
He makes a face, casts his eyes to the ceiling.












Thus it was, my campaign ended poorly.
Furthermore, I see that I lost.
I blame it, of course, on my very late start. There were other mistakes, as well, but I did keep things honest!




And good luck to you, Reader Dear, should you ever throw your hat in the ring!
I hope my story's helpful as you plan your campaign.

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