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WE'RE ALREADY WELL into the month of December. It's the time of year when my brain starts telling me a story. I know that it's just a story, but I'm gullible. Here's the gist of it:

This year you (that would be me) are going to get started early on preparations for the holidays. Really, there's not all that much to be done...and you're going to really concentrate this year and not get side-tracked on some project or other (hmm...I don't know...maybe a blog or something weird like that.)

Take the Christmas cards, for starters. This year you've got leftover cards, so you can eliminate one whole step. You've been working on a list with all the names and the addresses and who got sent which cards what years and all of that truly unnecessary minutiae. Surely you can toss that extra work out the window and simply page through your address book, eliminating anyone who would tear open the card and wrack a brain over your identity. After that... sign them. Yes, just...sign them. And plaster on the stamps. Alright, that's done. Have a cookie (might as well make it a home-baked Christmas one that you just pulled from the oven! That's right. You're going to have sooo much extra time this year to do baking. )

Now for the decorations. It won't involve much to drag those boxes of decorations down from the attic. This year you can clear the attic steps before descending with a load, and you won't send that tower of empty boxes that you've stored in the stairwell for easy retrieval cascading down the steps ahead of you, forcing you to go backward up the steps with your armload and try again. Decorating's not so complicated or time-consuming. It's basically just sitting or hanging things around, right? It'll be a breeze! (Little doubts are beginning to niggle.)

Then there's the tree. You know the tree's been a pretty big job, but that was in the past. You've got it all down pat by now. You're going to get it done in a jiff...the going and chopping at the tree farm, the setting up, the light-stringing, the ornaments, the re-doing of everything when the tree topples over and graces the floor with water and broken ornaments. Oh, wait a sec, not that last part. This year you're going to anchor that tree with an ounce of prevention and a bit of wire. This year, smooth and easy.

What's left? Ah, yes, cleaning. Of course you want the whole house thoroughly cleaned before you begin any preparations...but not to worry...

Just hop to it! You can get the whole house cleaned in short order. You're going to zip through the clutter. You're going to be fast and yet thorough, using some of those housecleaning tips they're always putting in men's magazines...(haha! I'm cracking myself up.) You're going to be amazed at the sparkle and shine!

Best of all, you're going to have time, oh lots of time to put your feet up and bask......except that's where it all unravels. I know it's just a fairy tale.

And yet...sigh...such a lovely story!

It's become a Christmas tradition.

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